Image Map

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Zion's Member Services

Home teaching getting you down? We care when you don't have time to. Can't get that annoying Priesthood Leader off your back? Home Teaching interfering with your TV and Golf? We can help! At Zion's Member Service, we'll do your Home Teaching for you. For a small monetary fee, we will send one of our trained representatives to the homes of your families.
Basic Visit..................$10
Basic Visit plus Spiritual Message...................$15
Birthday and Anniversary cards in addition to the Basic Visit and Spiritual Message...............$20
Is $20 too much to pay for peace of mind?
Call us at 1-777-752-2537.
That's 1-777-Slacker.
PLEASE NOTE: Because of heavy volume, an extra $15 will be added for the last day of the month.
ADDITIONAL SERVICES:
Meetings: We will send a representative to the appropriate meeting to take notes for you and report back:
Ward Council Meeting............$30
Ward Council Meeting w/ written report.............$50
Presidency Meetings..............$20
PEC..............$25
Sacrament Meeting.............$20
Sunday School..........$20
Priesthood.........$20
3-hour Sunday block (best value)......$50
(Surcharge of 10% for stake meetings)
Talks and lessons (Young Women's too):
Did a Bishopric member call and assign you a talk?
Tired of wasting Saturday night preparing a lesson?
Well, free up your time and just read one of our professionally prepared talks and lessons. No need to spend countless hours pouring through books, writing and praying. We'll do it for you!
Basic Talk (any subject assigned).......$20
Scripture Talk (basic + 5 scriptures).....$30
Deluxe Talk (scripture + 1 poem + 2 G.A. quotes)...$40
All talks are guaranteed to last 15 minutes. Add $1 for each additional minute.
Basic Lesson (40 minutes)...........$25
Deluxe (Basic + visual aids).........$35
Super Deluxe (Deluxe + Handouts)......$45
Due to high expectations, centerpieces and floral arrangements, Relief Society lessons are slightly higher. Call for quote.
Due to lower expectations, priesthood lessons receive a 10% discount.
Introducing our Bundle Buys and frequent shopper plan.
Bundle any 3 services and receive a 20% discount.
Receive one free Basic talk or lesson with any 10 purchases.
Last but not least...Our Casserole Service! If you just can't possibly throw together food for various Ward occasions, WE CAN! Our basic services include:
Funeral Potatoes
Green Bean/Mushroom Soup and Crunchy Onions
Orange Jello with Carrots
Spinach Dip in a Bread Bowl
Cheez Wiz/TaterTot Surprise!
They are made from exact recipes using the authentic ingredients taken from Ward Cook Books around the world! All for only $15 deposit.
Each delivered to your house with Corning ware marked with your name!
They'll never know you didn't make 'em!
Here you have it! We take all the work off of your shoulders and put ours to the wheel, just for you.
Remember our number, 1-777-SLACKER